You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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