3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
