how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
