Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
