How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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