Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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