What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
the liver wants what the liver wants
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
