I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
