At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
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Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
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i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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