oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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