there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
