And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
