i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
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