He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
