I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
