I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
