Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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