I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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