is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
