Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
