i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Of course I have a pirate flag
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
