I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
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He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
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HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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