hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
