ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
