there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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