There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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