Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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