yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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