Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
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If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
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So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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