I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
