I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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