after a month anything with tits is on the radar
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
