hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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