please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
