They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
