Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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