so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
