He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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