Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Randomize
