yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
