It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
