I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
