Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Edward fifth and chaser hands
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
