Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
