At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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