chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
