come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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