Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
