Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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