I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
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until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
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Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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