Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
