You're so nebulous sometimes
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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