dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
