I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He passed out mid-signature
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Randomize
