Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
