You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
