I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
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