If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
