i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize