I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
