I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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