I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
